Travel today means using identical ports, planes, and hotels. The Baron and Baroness Kende travelled differently. Luxury on liners, juxtaposed with the hardship of canoes or horses made them acquainted with a world that they loved. Their lives will introduce the reader to the worlds of South America and Ireland. Hungary was the birthplace of the Baron but he became an exile when he escaped Russian domination. Hard work and dedication to whatever he did, made of him that rare person – a successful refugee.
About the Author
Baroness Rosa Kende was born in 1933 in Cork, Ireland. She married her Hungarian husband in 1956 and had one daughter, Daisy. Gábor and Rosa led a full life, partners in everything that they undertook, from living on a sugar plantation in Peru to dairy farming in Co. Kildare.
Written by Daisy Jacquier-Kende, read by Conor Doyle at the Removal Service for Gábor Kende at Caragh Church Sunday 5th February 2006
My father was a stickler for accuracy and fine detail, often to the point of nail biting frustration. Many a story started with “Well, we woke at about 9, went downstairs and had boiled eggs for breakfast….”. I well remember one recent Christmas he opened a present of a state of the art weighing scales from mama, he carefully read the label on the back which said “made in Singapore”, he gave a gasp of admiration and exclaimed “and you know what, I bet it is deadly accurate”. His sense of order was renowned by all who knew him, there were lists written daily and lists were called upon to tackle any situation.
Said weighing scales were used religiously every day at the same hour to check his state of health in the last years.
He was about as accurate himself throughout his life as anybody could be however he luckily was wrong about one idea of his. On the basis that each of his siblings had died below the age of 75 he found it absurd that anyone should expect him to live any longer than that age. Certain areas of life were affected by this prediction, namely the choosing of a car or a camera.
Each car was bought on the fact that it would be needed for so many years prior to mama changing it for something more appropriate to a woman getting around on her own. Needless to say he survived several cars and cameras.
Weather and time were of huge importance to him. As a farmer it was vital to know what the skies would bring, and thankfully he made sure that anyone in the house would leave and arrive on time, woe behold if you didn’t.
Papi loved proverbs, some of his favourites were “Never put off to tomorrow what you can do today”, “Birds of a feather fly together”, sometimes he would translate Hungarian or German ones for us if he could not find one in English to express what he wanted to say.
He loved people, people who were genuine, people who worked hard and who were guided by honesty and driven by a striving for excellence. He had a great and often bizarre sense of humour. There was one awful joke about a poor cat which was told at many a dinner party, the reason behind the punch line will always remain a mystery.
So many of you have called or arrived at the house over the course of the past couple of days showing huge remorse but above all an enormous fondness for a man who has unwittingly shared with you his unique courage and wisdom. Thank you for coming and calling and sharing your memories of him with us.
As I noted down some words and adjectives over the past few days which I thought were fitting to describe him I found some stark contradictions. He was modest and discreet, he wore his heart on his sleeve; he was polite and charming, he was incredibly rude; he was a man of few words, he voiced his strong opinions readily; he was rational to the last, he could be totally bloodyminded; he was a man of moderation and measure, he indulged to excess; he was meticulously tidy, his desk was always a mess; he had huge courage and bravery, he could at times be a most difficult patient; he loathed what he called “new fangled objects”, he welcomed change, for years never missing an episode of “Tomorrows World”; A man from the past, a man of the future.
What he was was true to himself. He knew and followed his own mind throughout his long full life. He never doubted himself, he never had to.
He never forgot anyone whom he had met and he loved hearing news of old friends. Opening the Christmas cards each year gave him huge pleasure, he would read each one aloud, slowly, sitting at the kitchen table.
He deeply loved and cherished the family and extended family.
Above all it is his courage, wisdom and charm which will live on, which will keep him alive for all of us here.
I am so lucky to have had you as my father Papi, thank you and goodbye. I am proud of you. I love you.




